I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize