You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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