Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
