In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize