I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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