if i died would you start the facebook group?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
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