i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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