I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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