in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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