singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
