I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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