More tranny stories later!
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
