...so i touched it.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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