Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
