I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Randomize