The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
