We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
