I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
