Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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