he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Randomize
