The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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