it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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