Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
