I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize