omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
