How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
