They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
