The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
