so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
