I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Ladies don't puke and tell
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
