If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
