she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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