I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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