Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I won't apologize to a one balled man
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
