What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
it was like eating out sand paper
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
