my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
