Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
