Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
this will be a night to untag.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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