whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
