singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
