party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
