Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Randomize
