I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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