that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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