i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
