He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
