just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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