We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
