watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
