he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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