Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
