You're so nebulous sometimes
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize