it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
