that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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