My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
