All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
But break dance skills will only take you so far
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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