Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
